Typical morning. Woke up under a stranger's couch with cigarette butts in my hair. While crawling toward the door, found a UPS uniform roughly my size, so at least I wasn't naked when I scampered out. Made it to Alterra in time to meet H Bomb for breakfast. She's sweet as hell. Bought me a mocha and told me that her christian neighbors started a new business, Hands Of Faith Christian Massage.
Now this is spooky to end all spooky. For an extra $40 they will pray with you during the massage. Pray vigorously. Animatedly. I mean, you will cower naked on a cold table with only a cheap K-Mart towel between you and two lunatics rubbing you and leaping about shouting GLORRRRRY BE TO JEEESUSSS! Now you know what I'm giving all you fuckers for presents. Gift certificates.
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