monkeys monkeys ted & alice

When I put dad in the nursing home two years ago, gas was $1.50 a gallon. Now when I drive him across town for lunch at Heinemann’s, we pass the $3.49 a gallon sign at the Citgo station and he gets all bug eyed and squirrelly. We drove by the sign yesterday. Dad made little whimpering noises and rubbed his glasses. Until I said “yes pop, things have sure changed, it’s three and a half dollars a gallon now…AND THE WORLD IS RULED BY APES!”. Then I quick stuck on my big gorilla head mask and screamed ooooooga booooga while swerving the car across all four lanes. That’s how the car wound up going through the front window of a wig shop while dad clutched his chest and screamed in Irish that he’d disinherit me and pay Shriners to have me killed.